Have you ever wondered why some women are empowered by their gender while others struggle with feelings of inferiority and disempowerment?
I know you’re probably thinking “what the hell does this dude know about being a woman?”
I may be a man and have little clue about the intricacies of being a woman, but I have spent most of my life around women and have seen first hand what it takes to be a strong and empowered woman.
I want to share my experience growing up with a strong feminine influence in my life and how that has shaped me to being the man I am today.
When I was 8 years old, my parents got divorced and this was extremely difficult for me at such a young age. All I remember when they told me they were divorcing was feeling so out of control that the life that I knew today would be nothing like how it was going to look tomorrow.
While I got to see my dad off and on growing up, I spent a majority of my upbringing with my mom and sister. As I got older, I chose to spend more time with my father and lived with him at times throughout my developmental years.
Being gay, women definitely are the safer gender for me. I always spent my time with women and all my best friends have been women. I was also a very sensitive child and very in touch with my feelings, so it just made sense to hang with the people who resembled similar characteristics as myself.
I failed to mention, I am also an empath and very observant of human psychology and behavior. I began to learn very quickly what females struggled with in our society and how this struggle was keeping them stuck feeling disempowered. On the other side of the coin, I was also able to observe what characteristics led to an empowered woman who feels comfortable in her own skin.
I want to share some of these observations with you in the ways I have personally seen women step into their empowerment.
Here are 16 ways to live empowered as a woman:
1. Every time you feel the urge to compare compliment instead
Instead of allowing people to remind you of what you are not, allow them to remind you of what you can be. Use comparison to improve yourself, not bring yourself down. Focus on what you love about them, not on what you don’t love about yourself.
This is why complimenting is so powerful, it discharges your jealousy/envy and gets you focusing on what you want to feel, not pushing away what you don’t want to feel, and it makes you feel good about making someone else feel good.
Don’t sell yourself short because there is so much to you that is worth appreciating but you’re focus is just occupied on someone else. Come home to yourself and stop comparing and just compliment instead.
You can exist in a state of appreciation for others while still appreciating your unique individuality. Strong women empower other women, not belittle them.
2. Be proud of everything you have endured to become the woman you are today
Take a moment and think about the hardest thing you have faced in your life so far… What was it? What got you through that tough time?
Woman are such powerful beings. When you believe in yourself and you know you have others who believe in you as well, anything is possible.
There is no room for reflecting in the rear view mirror. An empowered woman is all headlights and full throttle moving forward. Don’t dwell on who you are trying to run away from, focus your attention on the person you want to step into and let the energy of that be your guide to getting there.
When you put your mind and heart into something fully, you are unstoppable. Always draw on what you have conquered yesterday to make you the person you are today.
3. Spend more time being grateful for the body you have
Self-inflicted body shame is one of the most disempowering and destructive things a woman can engage in. It is very common for women to think and talk poorly about their bodies.
When we body shame we focus on what we don’t like about our bodies and we feel like crap and energetically attract feeling even more poorly about our bodies. The remedy isn’t to chase this idea of perfection that society has created for you. The remedy is self-love and generating a positive body image. This starts with gratitude and focusing on what you like about your body and feeling your way forward into more positive things you love about yourself.
4. Recognize your limitations but don’t allow them to interfere with your ability to accept yourself
This is a fine line for most people because when we know we have limitations we either pretend they aren’t there and avoid anything that would expose them, or we let them drive our experience by allowing them to overshadow our brilliance with insecurity.
An empowered woman is crafty and creative and chooses option 3! She knows what she is capable of and what she isn’t, but this will not stop her from placing herself in situations where she can practice turning her limitations into strengths through practice.
Empowered women love themselves for what they are and for what they’re not. They don’t define themselves by their weaknesses because they know they are so much more than something that can even be defined. Its energy. Its a soul thang!
5. Every time you see a reflection of yourself smile
This is key! Most women fear the mirror because it reflects back to them how they should be feeling based on how they look. It pulls you out of the essence of what it means to feel beautiful and enslaves you into defining how you feel based on how you look.
This is why we want to change how we use the mirror. Instead of using it to measure yourself or critique yourself, try using it to make you feel good. Give yourself a big beautiful warm smile today and see how powerful that can be for how it makes you feel.
6. Set yourself free by expressing yourself
Self-expression is such a beautiful thing. People who express themselves regularly report having more fulfilling lives because they are expressing their desires and needs so they can be met.
In my experience, a woman without her needs being met is not an empowered woman. This is why boundaries are so important because they allow us to get our needs met by communicating what our needs are.
The key is to know that when you express yourself, you are actually expressing this perfect creation of who you are and the only one that needs to honour that is you. When you honour you, you are teaching others how to honour you and this is how we use expression to empower ourselves.
You can learn how to set boundaries by taking my free masterclass: How authenticity is the key to becoming a badass boundary setter
7. Use affirmations daily to coach yourself to greatness
We all have an inner bully and an inner coach. The inner bully is mean and critical and leaves you feeling inadequate and disempowered. The inner coach is gentle and affirming and creates feelings of empowerment.
Affirmations are such a profound way for us to shift things we want to change about ourselves. They speak the language of love to your soul that you are perfect, whole and complete just the way you are.
Speak your affirmations down to your body and feel them instead of just thinking them. They need to be embodied to be effective.
8. Try primal screaming – it will liberate the heck out of you
Primal screaming isn’t for the faint of heart. It is screaming from the top of your lungs as a way to discharge energy that is holding you back and empower you to step into a new voice that is louder and more confident.
Women are socially conditioned to be quiet and not express anger. This is breaking that social conditioning and giving you permission to be whatever the f$%! You want to be.
Find a safe place to scream as loud as you need to without alarming others that you might be in danger. I choose to primal scream in my car or into a pillow in my bedroom.
9. Choose courage over comfort
Try something that scares you once per month as a way to leave your comfort zone. Life begins outside of your comfort zone and if you want to feel confident and empowered, you need to leave your comfort zone to find out who you really are in the presence of your fears.
Our truest expression of who we are comes out when we face our fears and step into that awesomeness on the other side of fear. Don’t be afraid to take that leap because we are all doing it and we are all in this together.
10. Spend more time with your body and learn to listen to it
The body is listening to everything the mind is saying. We need to honour the body and let the mind listen to everything the body is saying. It’s a mutual exchange of communication and understanding.
Have you ever been in a one-sided relationship where you were giving to the other person and not getting back? What about dating someone who made you feel unheard? This type of relationship can feel very unsafe and exhausting.
There must be reciprocity between the mind and the heart. This union take place in stillness and silence. When the mind can take a back seat and is given the permission stop controlling the moment with its incessant mental chatter, the heart can communicate to you it’s desires. The heart’s desires are what we truly need in this life to feel fulfilled on a soul level
Compassionately tell your mind that it can take a break right now because you are going within to honour your body by sitting with it and listening to what it needs. Each part of our being needs attention or we create imbalance
What is your body trying to speak to you? What are those inner whispers saying?
Your body possesses your ultimate truth and has the answers you need to guide you to your highest purpose
11. Spend less time looking in the mirror to tell you how you should feel and just feel how you feel
This is a very hard one for most women because you have been told you have to be presentable and look the part. I want to encourage you to say “screw that” and start to just allow yourself to feel how you want to feel based on how you feel. What a crazy concept eh?
Start by taking it one day at a time and try to go one full day without looking at yourself in the mirror for anything other than needing to do your makeup or other tasks that absolutely require the mirror.
Notice how you feel when you don’t rely on your reflection to determine your worth. It can be very liberating.
12. Practice self-compassion daily by being more gentle with yourself
It’s all in the way you talk to yourself. Start to use language with yourself that supports feeling empowered. Use affirmations that make you feel rich with love for yourself and others.
Stay away from self-deprecating humour because let’s be real, it still has a negative impact on how you feel about yourself. Humour is good but not at the expense of your self-esteem. You can find other ways to make people laugh that will make you and them feel good.
13. Connect with mother nature
Mother nature is the ultimate feminine expression and all women can feel empowered in her magnificent and divine presence. Connect with mother nature and allow her energy to nurture your soul.
I recommend nature walks where you are using your 5 senses to enjoy the walk. Try to allow the body to experience the walk rather than the mind. The mental chatter can take you out of experiencing mother nature in her truest expression, so when the mind wants to take over, gently take yourself back to the body by focusing on one of your 5 senses.
14. Dress up in something that makes you feel sexy at least once a month
I want to be clear that sexy gets to be defined by the person experiencing this beautiful state. Nothing is better than feeling confident and sexy. I invite you to explore what makes you feel confident and sexy and dress up that way at least once per month.
Explore with your self-concept and see what you can get away with. Life is one big beautiful experiment and it can be so fun to try on a new version of yourself.
15. Don’t take rejection personally
Let’s face it we are never going to be everyone’s cup of tea and when we try, we end up losing ourselves because we are trying to fit into everyone else’s expectations of who we should be.
Rejection is probably one of the biggest fears people have and one that keeps us in our comfort zone and away from trying new things that ultimately will give us feelings of empowerment.
Rejection is ultimately someone realizing before you do that there is a misalignment in the connection.
One way to face this fear is to start to view rejection as a gift someone is giving you by telling you that they can’t value you the way you need to be valued.
Why would you want to settle for someone who can’t love and accept you for who you are?
16. Lift weights and get strong
Nothing is more bad ass than a woman who can lift weights and take care of her own grocery haul. There is nothing more empowering for a woman than to not have to rely on a man for something, and when you are a woman who lifts you are setting yourself apart from the rest of the pack.
Living empowered as a woman is an attitude where you know your worth and don’t need to determine your worth based on anything anyone else is doing.
It is about standing in your power as a woman and being proud of what makes you you without holding anything back or dimming your light for anyone.